Continual Conversion of Life
Continual Conversion of Life
Tuesday of the Fourth Week of Lent – March 24, 2020
In my religious upbringing, conversion was a one-time event. I made a decision for Christ, made that decision public at an altar call, and then coasted on. That was the conversion package.
It took me years to understand that conversion was an ongoing action of God’s Spirit within me. I did not arrive fully formed in that altar-call moment. That night was simply a moment in which I was conscious of making a significant shift in my life’s direction. The real work of conversion lay ahead of me . . . and still does. This work is ongoing.
The journey does not end. The contemplative says that standing still is important, being present to every moment of life. But moving onward is also crucial. If we stand still, we calcify. The contemplative holds together the dichotomy that we must stand still in order to know God and know ourselves. At the same time, we must journey on in order to bring mercy and compassion to others and to the world. We hold these two things together at the same time: Stand still and journey on.
Read what Esther de Waal writes about continual conversion in this excerpt from her book on Benedictine spirituality.
But standing still is only part of the picture. I have also to be ready to journey on. So there is also the vow of conversatio morum which Thomas Merton called the most mysterious of all the vows. It means continual conversion of life: it means living open to change; it means being ready to face whatever may be involved in responding to Christ’s call to discipleship, saying “yes” to his words “Follow me.” I must be prepared to put the past behind me, ready to move forward into the new, however costly that might be. A total and wholehearted “Yes” will mean that I am being asked to walk forward all the time. “Do you turn to Christ?” – that question asked at baptism is a good question for me to ask myself at the moments of the small decisions that make up my life, those occasions when I am faced with something that I might prefer to neglect, reject, evade. But I also know that unless I have the courage to journey on all the time I shall never grow into the person whom Christ has called me to be. The moment in which I feel that I have arrived, that I have succeeded, that I am now at least complete and can feel satisfied, that is the dangerous moment. It is then that I am tempted to stop, to fossilize, instead of recognizing that this growth towards God must go on until the day of my death.
[Esther de Waal, Living with Contradiction: An Introduction to Benedictine Spirituality (Harrisburg, PA: Morehouse Publishing, 1989), 1997.]
For Reflection:
o In my actual life, how do I hold together the need to stand still with the invitation to journey on?
o Conversion is not a one-time event, but a process of ongoing transformation that takes time and intention. It is not enough to say, “Yes” to Christ once. Our “yes” is an ongoing, daily, even moment-by-moment expression of our openness and willingness to follow him.
o In my prayer I think of three events or persons that have been important to me in my “ongoing conversion.” These events have helped propel me onward. These persons have played a significant role in my growth in Christ. I write the events or the names in my journal or on paper, then let God speak to me about them.
Tuesday of the Fourth Week of Lent – March 24, 2020
In my religious upbringing, conversion was a one-time event. I made a decision for Christ, made that decision public at an altar call, and then coasted on. That was the conversion package.
It took me years to understand that conversion was an ongoing action of God’s Spirit within me. I did not arrive fully formed in that altar-call moment. That night was simply a moment in which I was conscious of making a significant shift in my life’s direction. The real work of conversion lay ahead of me . . . and still does. This work is ongoing.
The journey does not end. The contemplative says that standing still is important, being present to every moment of life. But moving onward is also crucial. If we stand still, we calcify. The contemplative holds together the dichotomy that we must stand still in order to know God and know ourselves. At the same time, we must journey on in order to bring mercy and compassion to others and to the world. We hold these two things together at the same time: Stand still and journey on.
Read what Esther de Waal writes about continual conversion in this excerpt from her book on Benedictine spirituality.
But standing still is only part of the picture. I have also to be ready to journey on. So there is also the vow of conversatio morum which Thomas Merton called the most mysterious of all the vows. It means continual conversion of life: it means living open to change; it means being ready to face whatever may be involved in responding to Christ’s call to discipleship, saying “yes” to his words “Follow me.” I must be prepared to put the past behind me, ready to move forward into the new, however costly that might be. A total and wholehearted “Yes” will mean that I am being asked to walk forward all the time. “Do you turn to Christ?” – that question asked at baptism is a good question for me to ask myself at the moments of the small decisions that make up my life, those occasions when I am faced with something that I might prefer to neglect, reject, evade. But I also know that unless I have the courage to journey on all the time I shall never grow into the person whom Christ has called me to be. The moment in which I feel that I have arrived, that I have succeeded, that I am now at least complete and can feel satisfied, that is the dangerous moment. It is then that I am tempted to stop, to fossilize, instead of recognizing that this growth towards God must go on until the day of my death.
[Esther de Waal, Living with Contradiction: An Introduction to Benedictine Spirituality (Harrisburg, PA: Morehouse Publishing, 1989), 1997.]
For Reflection:
o In my actual life, how do I hold together the need to stand still with the invitation to journey on?
o Conversion is not a one-time event, but a process of ongoing transformation that takes time and intention. It is not enough to say, “Yes” to Christ once. Our “yes” is an ongoing, daily, even moment-by-moment expression of our openness and willingness to follow him.
o In my prayer I think of three events or persons that have been important to me in my “ongoing conversion.” These events have helped propel me onward. These persons have played a significant role in my growth in Christ. I write the events or the names in my journal or on paper, then let God speak to me about them.
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