Attachment Is Blind
Attachment Is Blind
Sunday of the Third Week of Lent – March 15, 2020
Whenever I teach on the spiritual life and the word “attachment” comes up, almost immediately a panic flies over the room. The tension becomes palpable. Smiling faces turn into frowns. People begin to squirm, restless in their chairs. Sometimes a person will even say something like, “I knew I would have to give up something I like!”
Spiritually speaking, attachments are those things to which we cling, expecting that they will give us life. They almost never do, especially as – or maybe because – we clutch them for dear life. Most things we hold onto don’t have the power to give life to us. They are finite people and temporal things. It’s not within their power to grant life; but we’re slow learners and though experience has taught us better, we still are hesitant to give up what we hold.
The language of the Hebrew Scriptures for attachments was “idolatry.” Idols were those things that became gods. In our day we no longer put little statuettes on our altars that represent our personal deities, but we have them nonetheless.
What are those things I don’t think I could live without? Those are my attachments or my idols.
I’m not being critical of anyone’s attachments or idols. I have them and you have them. We all do. They are dangerous, though, when we don’t know how to name them, when we don’t know what our attachments are. We worship them and cling to them, but don’t recognize the power they have over us.
The most dangerous attachments you and I have are not the addictions and habits that are obviously life-robbing. The most insidious attachments are the good things we cling to, the positive relationships and jobs that we hold on to, expecting that they will give us life.
Only God gives life. Sure, God can do that through other people, things, relationships, vocations, and so on, but it takes a mature person to find God and life through those things without confusing attachment to the thing itself with God. Most of us are not there yet.
Anthony de Mello was a Catholic priest from India, immersed in the spirituality of Ignatius of Loyola. He spoke and wrote about the way to love authentically, apart from clinging attachments, in The Way to Love. His words about attachments and authentic love have shaped my thinking and living for a couple of decades. I’ll share some of de Mello’s thoughts his week.
“For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may become blind.” (Jn. 9:39)
It is said that love is blind. But is it? Actually nothing on earth is as clear-sighted as love. The thing that is blind is not love but attachment. An attachment is a state of clinging that comes from the false belief that something or someone is necessary for your happiness. Do you have any attachments – people or things that you falsely believe you could not be happy without?
Think of a politician who has convinced himself he will not be happy unless he gets political power. His quest for power coarsens his sensitivity to the rest of life. He barely has time for his family and friends. Suddenly all human beings are perceived and reacted to in terms of the support or threat that they are to his ambition. And those who can neither threaten nor support he does not even notice. If in addition to his craving for power he has an attachment to other things like sex or money, the poor man has become so selective in his perceptions that he could almost be said to be blind. Everyone sees this except the man himself. This is the condition that leads to the rejection of the Messiah, the rejection of truth and beauty and goodness, because one has come to be blind to perceive them.
[Anthony De Mello, The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony De Mello, (New
York: Doubleday, 1992).]
For Reflection:
o I make a list of at least three people, responsibilities, roles or possessions that I believe I could not live without. They are three things on which I believe my happiness depends. I consider each of them on their own merits.
o What happiness have I gotten from each of these things?
o What does it take to maintain each of these three things?
o I bring these three things into my prayer. I hold each one out to God – one at a time – and listen for what God might say about each one.
Sunday of the Third Week of Lent – March 15, 2020
Whenever I teach on the spiritual life and the word “attachment” comes up, almost immediately a panic flies over the room. The tension becomes palpable. Smiling faces turn into frowns. People begin to squirm, restless in their chairs. Sometimes a person will even say something like, “I knew I would have to give up something I like!”
Spiritually speaking, attachments are those things to which we cling, expecting that they will give us life. They almost never do, especially as – or maybe because – we clutch them for dear life. Most things we hold onto don’t have the power to give life to us. They are finite people and temporal things. It’s not within their power to grant life; but we’re slow learners and though experience has taught us better, we still are hesitant to give up what we hold.
The language of the Hebrew Scriptures for attachments was “idolatry.” Idols were those things that became gods. In our day we no longer put little statuettes on our altars that represent our personal deities, but we have them nonetheless.
What are those things I don’t think I could live without? Those are my attachments or my idols.
I’m not being critical of anyone’s attachments or idols. I have them and you have them. We all do. They are dangerous, though, when we don’t know how to name them, when we don’t know what our attachments are. We worship them and cling to them, but don’t recognize the power they have over us.
The most dangerous attachments you and I have are not the addictions and habits that are obviously life-robbing. The most insidious attachments are the good things we cling to, the positive relationships and jobs that we hold on to, expecting that they will give us life.
Only God gives life. Sure, God can do that through other people, things, relationships, vocations, and so on, but it takes a mature person to find God and life through those things without confusing attachment to the thing itself with God. Most of us are not there yet.
Anthony de Mello was a Catholic priest from India, immersed in the spirituality of Ignatius of Loyola. He spoke and wrote about the way to love authentically, apart from clinging attachments, in The Way to Love. His words about attachments and authentic love have shaped my thinking and living for a couple of decades. I’ll share some of de Mello’s thoughts his week.
“For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may become blind.” (Jn. 9:39)
It is said that love is blind. But is it? Actually nothing on earth is as clear-sighted as love. The thing that is blind is not love but attachment. An attachment is a state of clinging that comes from the false belief that something or someone is necessary for your happiness. Do you have any attachments – people or things that you falsely believe you could not be happy without?
Think of a politician who has convinced himself he will not be happy unless he gets political power. His quest for power coarsens his sensitivity to the rest of life. He barely has time for his family and friends. Suddenly all human beings are perceived and reacted to in terms of the support or threat that they are to his ambition. And those who can neither threaten nor support he does not even notice. If in addition to his craving for power he has an attachment to other things like sex or money, the poor man has become so selective in his perceptions that he could almost be said to be blind. Everyone sees this except the man himself. This is the condition that leads to the rejection of the Messiah, the rejection of truth and beauty and goodness, because one has come to be blind to perceive them.
[Anthony De Mello, The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony De Mello, (New
York: Doubleday, 1992).]
For Reflection:
o I make a list of at least three people, responsibilities, roles or possessions that I believe I could not live without. They are three things on which I believe my happiness depends. I consider each of them on their own merits.
o What happiness have I gotten from each of these things?
o What does it take to maintain each of these three things?
o I bring these three things into my prayer. I hold each one out to God – one at a time – and listen for what God might say about each one.
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