Unable to Have a Fight
Monday of Holy Week – March 30, 2015
Two old men had lived together for many years and had never fought with one another. The first said to the other, “Let us also have a fight like other people do.”
The other replied, “I do not know how to fight.”
The first said to him, “Look, I will put a brick between us, and I will say, ‘It is mine,’ and you say, ‘No, it is mine,’ and so the fight will begin.”
So they put a brick between them and the first said, “This brick is mine,” and the other said, “No, it is mine,” and the first responded, “If it is yours, take it and go” – so they gave it up without being able to find an occasion for an argument.
[Benedicta Ward, The Wisdom of the Desert Fathers, p. 37]
This is one of the classic stories from the Desert tradition, quaint and almost too good to be true. Two old men who had lived together for many, many years did not know how to have a fight. I’d venture to say that even those who have lived in close proximity for a short period of time find this story hard to believe!
These men seem to have no attachment to things, no deep-seated anger, no sense in which they expected others to bow to their own self-identity.
I suppose it is so hard for me to believe this story or believe these men . . . because I can’t image life without some frustration of MY agenda, without some violation of MY rights, without some way that other people impede MY own notion of what life should be like.
Surely we could agree that these two brothers did not arrive quickly or easily at this place where fighting was impossible for them. Most likely, they did a great deal of inner work before living together. Each of them realized that life did not revolve around them, that “my life” takes place in the context of “our life” . . . which happens in the context of “life with God.”
Perhaps, today, I just need to shut up, get out of the way, and leave you with the story . . .
invite you to meditate on the story . . .
encourage you to find yourself in the story . . .
locate what appeals to you in the story . . .
and to ask you to listen for God’s invitation in this beautiful ancient tale.
Two old men had lived together for many years and had never fought with one another. The first said to the other, “Let us also have a fight like other people do.”
The other replied, “I do not know how to fight.”
The first said to him, “Look, I will put a brick between us, and I will say, ‘It is mine,’ and you say, ‘No, it is mine,’ and so the fight will begin.”
So they put a brick between them and the first said, “This brick is mine,” and the other said, “No, it is mine,” and the first responded, “If it is yours, take it and go” – so they gave it up without being able to find an occasion for an argument.
[Benedicta Ward, The Wisdom of the Desert Fathers, p. 37]
This is one of the classic stories from the Desert tradition, quaint and almost too good to be true. Two old men who had lived together for many, many years did not know how to have a fight. I’d venture to say that even those who have lived in close proximity for a short period of time find this story hard to believe!
These men seem to have no attachment to things, no deep-seated anger, no sense in which they expected others to bow to their own self-identity.
I suppose it is so hard for me to believe this story or believe these men . . . because I can’t image life without some frustration of MY agenda, without some violation of MY rights, without some way that other people impede MY own notion of what life should be like.
Surely we could agree that these two brothers did not arrive quickly or easily at this place where fighting was impossible for them. Most likely, they did a great deal of inner work before living together. Each of them realized that life did not revolve around them, that “my life” takes place in the context of “our life” . . . which happens in the context of “life with God.”
Perhaps, today, I just need to shut up, get out of the way, and leave you with the story . . .
invite you to meditate on the story . . .
encourage you to find yourself in the story . . .
locate what appeals to you in the story . . .
and to ask you to listen for God’s invitation in this beautiful ancient tale.
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